Russian writer Leo Tolstoy wasn’t quite correct when he wrote “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way” in fact “Like all happy families are alike, so do unhappy families”. Wonder how?
OK, let us have a look at what makes a family happy? There can be a number of answers to this question but the very first aspect that makes a happy family is the bond shared by the husband and wife in the family. No matter how the hardships are, if the partners communicate their feelings with each other, the family is sure to live a contented life. This communication might not be always about love, respect, trust, concern, etc. but can be about disagreement, fear, anger as well. The key is “Communication of the feelings” irrespective of the nature of feelings. A happy couple might fight over something in the night and could be back to normal in the morning. Their fights are never followed by a long period of silence with no communication at all. Rather they follow the path where the solution lies – either the discussion or the forgiveness. They might have their share of clashes and conflicts but they never allow the silence blow them apart. No matter what, they keep following the path of communication.
It is said, “Anger takes away your wit”. The saying is just more than appropriate. Couples in happy families know how to manage their anger. If not both, then at least one of them knows how top control it and thus, he/she never drags the thing beyond the tolerance level. Once the other partner gets cool down they discuss the things. “Realizing your mistaking but not accepting it upfront immediately” is often a human tendency and such couples understand this tendency very well. This understanding let them remain happy with each other.
Unhappy families too have many attributes common to each other. Such families might stay tied but torment one or more members. Most of them indulge in excessive argument and criticism. People in an unhappy family try to control each other’s lives which often suffocate them in each other’s company. The home becomes a battleground of egos and mistrust which would be followed by a long period of silence and no communication. As a result, the families become unhappy and the children emotionally bruised.
Thus, to join the stride of happy families, drop that ego and take a step to communicate each other with trust and togetherness, care and concern, and love and respect. After all, this is what Life is for!