My elder one is suddenly a big girl now. She is gradually learning about the world outside the home and school. Earlier our story telling sessions could happen any time of the day but now she insists to have the story time in the night, “to listen to the so called bedtime stories”, as it happens in most of the stories she listen and watch. So here is Mumma dear, abiding by the new rule, telling the story to her little muchkins. After the story ended, my “not so little girl” asked, “Mumma, Why is it that almost every story starts with ‘Once upon a time’ and ends with ‘happily ever after’?” Do all people live happily ever after like this?” She was used to the happy ending of the Fairy Tales, each one of them concluding with the bland phrase “Happily Ever After” and that is what must have persuaded her to ask this question to me.
I said, “Yes, people live happily but not ever after. Like there is change in seasons, there is always a change in our level of happiness. Sometimes we are too happy, sometimes, we are not and there are times when we are sad as well. This happens, so that we can enjoy and celebrate happiness. Will our life not be boring if every time remains the same? I also told her that these fairy tales are just a flight of fantasy and everything what she listens or watches is not a reality.”
She was somehow satisfied with the answer and slept with a smile on her face.
I had answered her query but it had struck a chord of my heart! It forced me to question myself, “Is life after Marriage all about being Happily Ever After?”
No, It’s actually much more than that. There is always “Something Else” about it. Of course, there are moments of sheer bliss, days of love, months of satisfied companionship and years of understanding but there are also certain disagreements, misunderstandings and silent treatments that may hamper your happiness on an on-and-off basis.
Relationships are hard work. No person is perfect and so does every relationship. Falling in love is awesome and Marriage is a lifetime commitment to each other. If you really want to be happy in your life, you should seek happiness in the “moments” not “ever after”.
‘Happily Ever After’ is a fantasy that is often understood as a ‘rule to life’ and any deviation to the rule makes people believe that things are just not right. Life is not like that. It takes efforts to live happily and it’s never too late to make those efforts. Throw away the ‘critical lenses’ to view the world and wear the ‘lenses of appreciation’. You will experience the magic happening. There is a very thin line between compromise and adjustment. The word ‘compromise’ does not adequately define happiness but ‘adjustment’ does. Stop seeking perfection but find wholeness in each other. The mutual respect and trust that you will inherit with this will always develop a willingness to sort out the disagreements the moment they happen.
Make your dreams come true. Live life the way it comes to you. Who knows you get “happiness ever after’ on your way itself?
Richelle E. Goodrich has rightly said, “Happily-ever-afters don’t come in happily-every-days. They are found at the end of challenges-ever-met, promises-ever-kept, and tears-ever-wept.”