Holding Strong and High

I’ve been troubled by few taxing scenarios around me. As a result, today I’m here to give a way to my annoyance. I’m perturbed when I hear women end their lives for situations that by no means are of any significance than their own lives. I’m appalled by such acts and condemn this very idea of getting burnt or torn apart in a relationship. By this, it can be a failed marriage, a natural and early death of a spouse or a relationship that went sour due to numerous reasons. The age old question remains – Are women a weaker race of a mankind?

I bet all the women who are reading this would unanimously say “NO”. Then, what makes many women end their lives? What makes these women so fragile that they can’t hold their ground and fight the battle? Why do these women not think of their family/closed ones before taking such a drastic step? Do I call them “weak” or “impractical” or “plain stupid”? This indeed is alarming situation today and has been poignant for some time. I ventured out to read and understand the psyche of such women who would not think twice before ending their lives. My findings are really thought provoking. Honestly ladies, every time I read or see a woman committing suicide; I would struggle to fall asleep for several nights after the incident. Such is an impact. My worry is even bigger; I’ve a responsibility of bringing up two kids rather I say two healthy minds!

One of the reasons I could find for such extreme step is the “emotional dependency”. Now, this is a sensitive matter since the line between “emotional attachment” and “dependency” is too thin. The emotional dependency makes a person go weak in their thought process letting other person to take control of emotions. The person abandons self and feels empty within. The self esteem therefore rests on the other person and the relationship has a negative impact in most of the situations. This is a symptom of weak intelligence. We come across at least one such incident in news paper where a woman has taken the radical step.  Ladies, I’m awfully troubled with these scenarios.  Can I change these circumstances and make it any better a situation? Well, I don’t know…may be yes…I’m not aware of these ladies personally but what I CAN do is, stay tough, focused and determined on making every situation worth experiencing. I can concentrate on raising my kids with the same positivity that I want to see around me for I’m their world. Dearies, please ponder over, how petty your situations seem when you compare with the bigger and worst issues in the world. Shakespeare once said – “I cried when I had no shoes; but I stopped crying when I saw a man without legs….!” Ain’t you the one with legs then? Ain’t your situation better than “no legs at all?”

Always remember that your situation may seem bad, ugly and worst but there is someone somewhere who is experiencing something beyond or unimaginably terrible.

My maid lost her husband quite early in her life. Needless to mention hers was a child marriage. She has three kids to raise single handedly. She is diligent for she starts her day before 5 AM and works till evening 6:00 PM to send her kids off to school. Never have I seen her sob or grumble for lack of her husband and shouldering the responsibilities alone. When I quoted an unfortunate incident where a woman jumped off her apartment leaving her only child behind after the death of her husband, her reply to me was something that trailed me for a while. “Madam, I’m not educated or literate like you ladies, but I know for sure if I would have done the same thing then my children would have been orphans. No one can replace “mother” and I don’t want my kids lives to be wasted in the same slum where I grew up. I’ve dreams for them and I’m responsible in fulfilling them all.” I was speechless. She is by far an educated lady who reminded me simple lessons of life. Things that were taken granted by me are actually an important and integral part of me and my very existence.

Therefore, it’s our awakening call to be interdependent and raise a happy family. Stay strong and wise in order to take your independent decisions. Go wrong, make mistakes, get hurt, fall several times but remember to RISE after each fall. Learn from your errors. Heal the bruises by letting the time slip for a while. Adapt the methodology – SBO (Self Before Others). Unfortunately, we’ve been taught to value others before our own needs. However, be wise enough to gauge the water depth here. It’s okay to say NO to certain people, work that’s not urgent or even to kids persistent demands. We are not the “know all and do all” kind of species. Unless the iron ore is heated and beaten up several times, one doesn’t get the desired shape. So, it’s perfectly alright to get burnt and beaten up. But, there won’t be someone to hold your hand all the time.

We mothers have a mammoth task to raise our kids who are dealing with constant increase in competition. Where they are getting judged by their grades and not the skills, the pressure is building high on them. Let us all hold strong and high for we are a new breed of moms who can work on laptop, get the laundry done and microwave the food all at once!

 I’m a “Mother”

And, I’M the essence in it

Remove “M” and see

For it becomes “Other”

 I won’t surrender

To the ugly game time plays

I’m a “Mother”

And I can only soar