It is said, “there is nothing like a parent’s love” and how true is that! All around the world, regardless of the culture or religion, you will find parents loving their kids like anything. As parents, we try hard to give our kids the best of both worlds. Sounds natural, isn’t it? But is that beneficial too? – It’s high time we introspect!
I agree that fulfilling the basic needs of their kids is the responsibility of every parent but isn’t up bringing them to be a better person, not their duty? In the journey to satisfy our kids and make them happy, are we not spoiling them? Parents, it’s high time that you keep a check on the things that might spoil your kids!
Fulfilling their legitimate illegitimate demands, surrendering in front of their tantrums, letting them disrespect you, thinking of their behavior as ‘they are being kids,’ doing everything for them, etc. are some of the many ways parents unknowingly spoil their child.
Of course, you want to keep your kids happy but don’t forget that you are raising future adults who need to be empathetic and compassionate, who will have to face competition and criticism when they grow, who need to be independent today, in order to be confident tomorrow. Till when will you act as their shield? It’s time to take think and act!
We all know what we should do to raise happy kids but today, SheerParenting brings you a list of things that you shouldn’t do if you want to raise responsible adults:
Here is a list of things you do that unintentionally spoil your kids:
1. Cleaning the Mess after Playtime:
Kids love playing with toys. And when they play, they make sure that every toy that they possess is right in front of them. As a result, the room becomes a mess. What parents usually do is, after the kids are done playing, they clean all the mess. Though your intentions are just to provide comfort to your kids or to clean the room quickly, yet this is not going to help your child in any way. Make your kids clean the mess they created (You can always help them while they do it). Try to make it a habit because if this is not done, the kid develops an idea that cleaning the mess they create is not their responsibility. When they grow up and you expect them to keep their rooms clean, they won’t do because they weren’t brought up this way. To avoid problems in the future and make your kids disciplined, teach your kids the right way to spend their life.
2. Fulfill All their Wishes All the Times:
As parents, we try our best to fulfill all the wishes of our kids. Whatever they ask for, we provide. The sole reason behind this is to satisfy our kid and provide them a perfect life. This obviously makes them happy, but is this best thing to do? Life will not always be kind to them. If they will never face disappointment or failure in life, will they be able to deal with it as adults? If you are among those who believe that people learn to deal with disappointments as they grow, you are wrong! Over pampering and non-deprival of anything in childhood have been reported as the two main reasons for depression, drug addiction, and suicides among adolescents. And above all that, over pampered children make egoistic parents or partners. So, be careful parents!
3. Don’t Follow a Discipline:
Yes, even parenting has rules – The most prominent of them is to set limits and rules for your children and ensure that they abide by those rules and limits. Stick by your rules and don’t be flexible with them on an ongoing basis. Once in a blue moon, you can allow your child to behave otherwise, but changing rules every day will lose all its significance in front of your child.
4. Ignoring their Bad Behavior:
The first thing kids need to learn is about ‘respect’. Teach your kids to give and earn respect. Only when they respect others, will they understand the value of self-respect. Never let your kids disrespect you! If your kids do not obey you and disrespect you, stop them in the first instance only. If you allow them once, it will become their habit. Tell them firmly that disrespecting is not at all acceptable and they need to keep their attitudes straight. Let them know that if their behavior is bad, there will be consequences. Your one step will make them think a hundred times before disrespecting you! Being friends with your kids is good, but even friendship demands respect, right?
These are the things that you unintentionally do to spoil your child. Showering your child with love and affection is not wrong but you also need to prepare them for the outer world. Till when will they live under the shadow of your parental love and care? After all, you won’t be accompanying them everywhere in their life! They must understand the basic rules of life and should know how to emerge as a winner. It is surely difficult to make your kids walk a certain path, but to make them better humans, you, only You dear Parent can do it!
I agree with the points because even I do it. I really need to consicously stop for my daughter’s own good.
Yes, it time we keep a check on ourselves too.. Afterall, it is for the good of our own child… Happy Parenting 🙂
I agree with all th epoints you shared here. Sometimes giving things to kids before time and appropriate ageas well it spoil as well. I have seen many young boys riding bikes at a high speed keeing the self life and life or pedestrian in to danger. I hope your post will bring light to many parents. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Jiya for pointing out this important point…… In an attempt to give them all that we didn’t have, parents do the blunder of giving things at a much earlier age than they deserve. This does more harm than good!
Very well written post here, I relate to each and every point you mentioned.
For me too as a mother over papmering and fulfilling all desires clicks the most. Lovely read
Thanks for your kind words Deepika. I believe most of us can relate to this! It’s high time we introspect !!!
This is the thing I am so scared as a mother. While caring and pampering my kid, am I spoiling him for life? Your insights are valuable and gave me a clear way to recheck my own parenting. Pinned it to read it after every while.
Thanks a lot Puspanjalee for stopping by. Thanks for pinning down this post and you are most welcome to explore other blogs too. I am sure you will find enough fuel for your fire here!
Very well written shokhi, you actually understand how people spoiling their kids future now a days.
I hope ur endeavours will open up all eyes n people can realise that pampering our kid is our love for them but over pampering can be harmful for their future.
Thank you so much, Ankita for acknowledging my efforts in this post. Yes, it’s an important concern in modern day parenting and parents needs to understand the difference between loving their child and spoiling their child.